Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.
I’ve got a soft spot for the Nordic countries. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a household where rattily labeled VHS tapes of various Winter Olympics were plentiful. Or maybe it’s because, after living in Wisconsin for more than a decade, I can appreciate cultures where the winters are spent inside drinking and the summers, however brief they may be, are spent outside… also drinking.
Despite this, and despite a recent trip to Denmark and Sweden (tremendous beef, top notch hot dogs, would recommend), I’d never had Finland’s “pride of 1952.” Long Drink has been a golf bag staple for my friends back in Rhode Island, but I’d never gotten the chance to try it until a PR rep reached out extolling the Finnish virtue of “getting pantsdrunk: drunk at home in your underwear.” An easy sell, truly.
The drink itself is a basic, classic recipe. Gin and citrus is a slam dunk summer combination. Does Long Drink do it well enough to justify picking up a four pack? Let’s run down all five options and see what we’ve got.
Oh dang. Crack this can open and you’re immediately confronted with memories of making greyhounds for retirees. And that makes sense, since Long Drink describes itself as gin with grapefruit and juniper berry flavors and, yep, that’s pretty much exactly what a greyhound is (or it’s vodka).
The difference here is the fizz, as a smooth, almost creamy carbonation refreshes that old classic. The bubbles are densely packed, creating a drink that slides past your tongue rather than snapping off sharply. The closest comparison I have for it is Topo Chico’s carbonation. It’s something that rises above to make this more than just the ingredients within.
But those ingredients are great, too! It’s a simple cocktail made with proven ingredients. The grapefruit is strong and the gin/juniper is never overpowering. It’s clean and easy to drink; a crushable summer cocktail if there ever was one.
Notably, that carbonation doesn’t hold up as well when poured into a glass with ice. But keep it in the can and, holy crap, I could get through nine of these in a round of golf, no problem. My short game would probably suffer and there’s no way in hell I’d be able to drive home, but I may have to give it a try.
This is effectively the same as the traditional Long Drink, only with Diet Coke ingredients instead of the sugar. Which means we’re getting more grapefruit-inspired flavors than actual grapefruit, but I’m fine with it. At 99 calories nad 5 percent alcohol, it clocks in roughly where you’d expect a hard seltzer.
It smells a little unappealing; grapefruit occasionally has a minor body odor smell to it and I’m getting whiffs of that here. The sugar-free version is decidedly more tart than the original. The bubbles feel a little less dense and more crisp than creamy. This isn’t necessarily a problem, it just takes away that uniqueness and makes it feel a lot more like a High Noon or White Claw.
This one seems to work better on ice than in the can, owing to that lack of thick carbonation. It’s still a pretty good drink. But, like most things diet, it’s just not as good as the original.
Wow, Long Drink is really cornering the market on old folks fruit. I look forward to their prune offering in 2026.
It smells boozier than its forebears, which may be a product of the extra 0.5 percent alcohol in this variety. It tastes a little bit the same, though that’s more likely due to the bitterness of the cranberry mixing with the tart of the grapefruit to cast off a little flavorful harshness. That doesn’t mean the drink itself is harsh — it’s just about exactly what you’d expect from gin, grapefruit and cranberry.
That works in concert with those tightly packed bubbles and a little extra sweetness — though at 160 calories it’s got less juice/sugar than the traditional version (180) despite a boozier payload. I don’t like it more than the regular Long Drink, but I do appreciate it as a change of pace.
Welp, this one got damaged in shipping. It wasn’t noticeable outside of a little stickiness and a dented lid, but cracking the can suggests all that wonderful carbonation slowly escaped across a few weeks of hanging out in my beer fridge.
It’s still got its signature greyhound smell, even without the effervescence. Despite the extra alcohol it doesn’t taste especially boozy; the cranberry feels a little stronger than the Strong Citrus. But you do notice it’s got a little more kick than the regular Long Drink, especially without the benefit of carbonation to cover it.
It’s a good jump start drink. A cocktail for 9 am tee times, 11am kickoffs and hasty tailgates. I could certainly talk myself into pounding two or three of these before a Badger game if not for the fact I’m pretty sure you could walk into Camp Randall Stadium with an open handle of vodka and the worst you’d get from security is a high five.
It pours a light, effervescent pink. It smells like peaches with just a hint of gin. The can makes a point to note there’s carrot juice in there for coloring; I’m curious to see if you can taste it at all.
Maybe a little, but this guy is all peach. You can just about taste the fuzz on it, as it goes beyond the gummy ring flavor of most peach boozes and instead pairs with the juniper to create a much more natural, organic-feeling flavor. You get a little bit of the tree alongside the fruit.
That creates a sharp, dry flavor that balances very well with the sweetness of the peach. The gin taste here is minimal, leaving you with what feels like a jacked up hard seltzer with a little extra booze (5.5 percent). Peach drinks may not be as huge as they were last summer, but Long Drink took the time to make sure its completely rules.
Welcome to a new feature on these reviews; a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink a Long Drink over a cold can of Hamm’s?
Yep. It’s great. Refreshing and boozy but never in an aggressive way. You’ll never mistake it for a soda the way you could with some canned cocktails. Long Drink strikes a perfect balance between alcohol, flavor and bubbles, making it just about perfect for warm summer afternoons.
