We Ranked 9 Goldfish Flavors, and One Blew the Others Out of the Water

The snack that smiles back is a staple of American childhood. Goldfish are easy for small fingers to pick up and a must-have for after school. Unlike some childhood foods (pureed carrots, Heinz EZ Squirt Funky Purple ketchup), no one ever outgrows Goldfish!

Since the introduction of these fish-shaped crackers over 60 years ago, Pepperidge Farm has expanded its Goldfish line to include multiple flavors, as well as chip-like Goldfish Crisps and sweet Goldfish Grahams. For this taste test, though, I stuck to the classic cracker we all know and love. Here are the most popular Goldfish flavors for snackers of all ages.

Frank’s Red Hot

First, let me say there are truly no bad Goldfish flavors. The Frank’s Red Hot flavor tastes good, and if you like the vinegary tang of hot sauce, you’ll definitely like these. The reason they come in last place, though, is that they lack complexity. If, perchance, Pepperidge Farm wanted to add some ranch or blue cheese powder to make a Buffalo flavor, that would be intriguing in the world of tiny fish-shaped crackers.

Bottom Line: Hot sauce is best when complementing something else, and without much in the way of a flavorful base, Frank’s Red Hot Goldfish taste like a mission half-accomplished.

Pizza

Pizza Goldfish don’t taste like any pizza I’ve ever eaten, which is fine. Pizza is a fully realized food with a plethora of textures and can’t be reduced to a powder without losing much of the integrity that makes it desirable in the first place.

Bottom Line: I accept this flavor for what it is: umami-rich tomato paste with Italian seasoning. By that standard, it is good.

Parmesan

I grew up in a big Italian American family where we took Parmesan cheese incredibly seriously and never skimped on it. I was raised to believe that the powdered supermarket brand found in shakable cans was an abomination. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve softened my opinions on many things, and I can appreciate this as long as I mentally classify it as “Mystery Cheese.”

Bottom Line: These are more Mystery Cheese than actual Parmesan, and they can be pretty tasty if you don’t think too hard about it. (Thinking hard about Goldfish crackers is literally my job, though.)

Original

Original Goldfish are bland, which makes them the perfect base to build your own fish-shaped cracker adventure. You can season these guys in so many ways. Treat them the same way you would Chex Mix, tossing in some butter and spices before baking. Or do what I do and dump your favorite seasonings straight into the bag, then give it a good shake and get straight to eating. Snacktime doesn’t always need to be a production.

Bottom Line: Alone, they’re meh. With homemade seasoning? A solid snack.

Pretzel

Honestly, there are better pretzels out there, but these look like fish, which makes any flavor faults forgivable. If you make a blend out of these and Frank’s Red Hot Goldfish, it’s pretty dang fantastic.

Bottom Line: If you want actual pretzels, don’t choose these. But if you want fish-shaped snacks that taste like pretzels, no one does it better.

Cheddar

Goldfish really hit their stride once the cheddar flavor appeared in 1966. Pepperidge Farms knows this, which is why this cheesy orange cracker is the iconic Goldfish.

Bottom Line: They have no faults and are a reliable snack when you need something cheddary.

Cheddar Colors

In nature, goldfish need to be gold. It’s their whole brand. Crackers don’t need to abide by the rules of nature, though, so these Goldfish get to taste like cheddar and be fabulous. Good for them!

Bottom Line: They don’t taste vastly different from the orange cheddar version, but they sure are fun to eat.

Baby

These, too, are Cheddar Goldfish, but instead of being different colors, they are smaller. Ergo, they are more adorable.

Bottom Line: I don’t know why Pepperidge Farms even makes regular-sized Goldfish, but I suppose everyone has a type.